But we're all the same....
I'm back home now, back from Pete's. Feels kinda strange. Like there's different rules here at home, such as I gotta be tidier because Frank freaks even though he is the world's most untidy guy. I feel more restricted. That's weird though because I'm messier at home than at Pete's. Not consciously, though...sack it, this is a crappy rambling sorry. I've not blogged on this for a week and I ramble weird nonsence about not feeling at home at home. I'm sorry. It's good to be back with Ryan though, even if he is still sleeping loads. I'd kinda missed the option of going into his room in my jammas to rant about work or talk about what i learnt from that mornings episode of sesame street whilst he was at work. But Pete's was awesome. It felt right, very cute and couply which is cheesy and gross but true. Everyday i wanted to call in sick so I could just scum around Pete's house with him and watch movies but I needed the money.
I'm kinda freaked out right now for two reasons. firstly Pete's mamma asked for my cellphone number last Thursday and since then she has been calling everyday for hour long chats with her and his pop on two lines. It's not good. In fact it's worrying. I mean they are lovely lovely people. Really really nice but very interfering. I think they don't like the fact that I'm a waitress. They ask me about my "aspirations", if I want to do anything else, go back to college, perhaps? They ask if I am going to give up work once I'm married and the answer is no. I'm not. In fact, even though it felt so cool and right to hang out and live with Pete, I'm not even sure we will live together once married. I mean, we are doing well the way we are, so lets continue. Besides I think Ryan would miss me. I'm not sure I could leave him alone. It's hard to explain, but he's my twin, i love him before anybody and we've always lived together. Not being around him this week was tough although we spoke on the phone loads. Also, I'm worried about my wedding. I think Pete's mamma wants me to have one hell of a big fucking wedding, she's still hinting and we haven't even set a date. I don't like it. Not one bit.
My second reason for being freaked out is because Pete's ex-girlfriend is still hassling me. She e-mailed again and I'm sure she was hanging around outside work the other day till I closed. I've never seen her before but there was this weird girl eyeing me up outside of the work doors all day. All fricken day, why the hell was she there? I'm positive it must have been her. She matched the description. I despise her and i don't know her. Aargh!. Why can't she just leave me alone, im just like, not stressed out enough with my shitty existance and shitty life. Everybody thinks they are Holden Caulfield. Everybody is fucking together. I'm just going insane right now, sorry but it's true. We are all feeling so alienated that we aren't. We are united in alienation. The one true connection between all human beings. alien fucking nation. we all feel alone even when we're not. sorry, I don't know what provoked that. sorry.
I've got to go to work later. Both works, old and new. I hate it sooooo much. When did it stop being enjoyable? The people cheese me off. I hate my workmates. They are all really stupid and that stupid bitch ages ago who slagged off my blue hair has been put on shift with me. She just doesn't let up. I believe i have found my mortal enemy. I'm gonna milk it, i kinda revel in these little tiffs sometimes. This bitch at work and that other one outside of it don't know what's coming, I will give it to them so hard..... tee hee.
Oh, new gig on Wednesday, should be cool. I'm leaving to mooch around, maybe i'll go to a museum. kinda feel in that sort of arsing around wallowy mood. bye