Ok, i just heard something really strange and I don't know exactly how I feel about it at this moment. I haven't yet mentioned anything to Ryan, I don't know what to say. My friend Steve called in at my work today and told me that his friend's sister or something had moved into my mother's old house. Confused because my mother's old house was in a completely different state, I asked how he knew it was my mother's. He said because I'd pointed it out to him only last week. Even more confused, he elaborated and told me it was only a couple of blocks away and the precise street name. Of course, now I was sure he was completely wrong, because as far as I knew my mother still lived there. But I was wrong. My mother has left, ferrets and all and I have no idea where she is. She's just completely vanished.
I don't know how I feel about this at all. I mean, I don't know where she is, if she's ok, if she's in debt or in some sort of trouble or anything. Why would she leave? Especially without saying anything. She's always coming by harrasing me at work every couple of months calling me the devil etc, she called only a while back about her ferret dying too...why wouldn't she tell me about something this big? In a way I should be relieved she's gone. she was a terrible mother and I hated her but then I feel terrible for hating her. It's not the done thing is it? But then again mothers don't treat their children the way that she did.
What will I say to ryan? Will he care? He hates mom and never lets me say anything about her in front of him, bad or good. Maybe I should just never tell him she's gone because I think deep down he cares and he hates that he cares. I guess it's because we're much better people than she is. She wouldn't give a damn. Deep down in her horrid old black heart she never cared about us and still doesn't.