Seems like somebody really doesn't want me to publish this blog. Twice I've tried to write it and half way through my computer had crashed sweeping it all away. Am I cursed? Does somebody really want my day to suck more than it already has?
No, I won't let myself get mad. I'm zen, the zen master, if you will. Completely centered...
So my sucky day started at 3am when I came home from new work to find the kitchen absolutely overflowing with...rhubarb. Yes, rhubarb, everywhere. In the sink, cupboard, oven, fridge and the floor. i didn't even have the chance to begin getting mad when I turn around to find my brother wedged between the oven and cupboard, in his levi's, rash all over his body, rapidly inflating and finding it hard to believe. In my 3am tiredness, somehow I managed to call an ambulance and get him to the emergency room. Turns out Ryan has a severe allergic reaction to rhubarb, very severe. They've kept him in all day and run some tests and stuff to make sure he was ok. They said he'd have died had I been home any sooner. I feel very greatful today for that but also of course, very very mad. Why was the rhubarb in the house then? Well, turns out that our good buddy Frank, was very very drunk last night and had some insane craving for rhubarb and hence, just had to buy a whole truck load of the stuff and fill our home with it. Makes no sense to me either, but ok. Weird how Ryan's allergic to it and i'm not with us being twins and all. I'm sure Ive eaten it before too which would mean that it's likely he has and never had a problem with it. oh well, my day got worse...
They kept Ryan in hospital and so I got home at around 8am and find Frank lazing around the living room, moaning and groaning, completely hungover and mad as hell about the fact my bro nearly died, I start to yell at him. However, my first utterance of the rhubarb sends him hurling all over the floor yelling, " Don't tell me about that rotten stuff please!!! get rid of it! Get rid of it!!" And so, desperately tired, yearning for bed, I put Frank into his bedroom and then set about making as much stuff with rhubarb, (only really rhubarb crumble) as possible to take down to our local homeless shelter.
This makes me late for work. I then get yelled at from Nancy who says it's the last straw. She says she's fed up with my crazy tales and my lateness and my excuses and that if I'm late one more time....She actually didn't finish her sentence, but somehow on some weird survival level, I'd gone really zen and chilled out and just got on with my job, no complaints. I hadn't slept, hadn't washed and hadn't eaten since the day before but somehow I was able to function.
I got home and scrubbed the kitchen. Ryan's coming home later, me and his hot buddy(who I think I might be in love with) am gonna go pick him up. I don't wanna chance him taking another reaction. It could be fatal. I think I'm gonna worry about him soo much now. I'm gonna panic that there might be rhubarb everywhere he goes and he might just die...god, I hope he don't die. He's my twin bro he can't, he just can't. If Ryan died, I would have to die. That's the way it is with us. Anyway, we're gonna have a nice quiet night in if Frank doesn't stop groaning. He's been all sheepish and sorry about what happened. I know he wouldn't want to kill Ry but at the moment I must admit I feel slightly resentful and for that I feel mad at myself. I shouldn't resent my friend. I love him too and it was a accident. We all make mistakes. I still haven't slept, I need so bad to sleep. Ok, i gotta go, Frank's been sick again and I'm looking after him. Gotta go clean, yuk.