Whatever you want it to be but i like it to be a funky jazz blues fusion topped with a shiny red cherry.
Published on April 13, 2004 By ScarlettAddams In Blogging
Spent all weekend phoning up pet cemetary's due to the fact that one of my mothers ferrets died. Why did she have to call me for help? We hardly ever talk then one of the damned things kicks the bucket and I have to deal with it. As usual, Ryan won't help me out. He's cut our mother out of his life completely, won't even say her name at times, just calls her it, her, she or loony. As the daughter though, I feel guilty, like i got to do something although we completely despise one another. I refuse to talk about my life with her at all. She doesn't know anything about me except for where I work and that was complete accident-she just turned up there one day.

What do you wear to the funeral of an animal that you never met? What do you wear to the funeral of an animal, a ferret to be precise? The woman is clearly deranged. It's going to only be me and her at the funeral, oh, and her friend Alice. She's even more screwed up than my mother. You'd have to be to hang out with her. All they do is drink. It's a sad life. Sometimes I imagine Ryan and I will end up that way, and I think maybe I should just die now because death has got to be better than my mother's life.

Work is still going slow, i'm thinking they might close the place down. Then maybe I'll have the guts to do something that I really want, like be a bartender or something. Maybe I just need a little push in the right direction, I don't know.

Comments
on Apr 13, 2004
Hi Scarlett:

Since you're not out to impress, and the ferret does'nt care anymore, what does it matter what you wear?

Wear what you feel good in.

Speaking of which.. you really should feel positive about yourself... you are consciously making an effort to NOT be like your mother, so you're on the right track already. (Feel good in your own skin.... you are not now, nor ever will be living your mother's life)

To give up now would be a cop-out....

Write down the plans you have for yourself right now, and for the future. Set them as goals to achieve. Even if you don't get the satisfaction of achieving all of them, you WILL have the satisfaction of knowing that for the ones you did not achieve, you gave it your best damned shot.

I also think you should aim higher than bartender. Change your perceptions of yourself... you are better than you think.

Good luck to you girl,

Wreckless.